Since this conditions raised his hideous head, life has certainly been difficult. My life has turned around and things are never going to be the same. But this is not only true for me, it’s also true for you. I realize that my life I knew will never be the same. I am trying to understand. But I also know that life has also changed as you know it. I don’t know how things have changed but I remember a lot of fun, lots of laughter and many adventures when I look back on you girls who were little.
We managed to have incredible fun and a lot of laughter as you grew older. But things have changed in recent years. I never said no to anything we had for that day in store. Everything we might have wanted to do as families, shopping, family trips, camping. My life started to slow down, my fitness wasn’t where it was once. I have now learned that I have a fibromyalgia condition.
Things are not going to be the same. You girls have seen me slow down and change. I can’t do the stuff that I once did, and I can’t do stuff we used to do once with you. Very few families know what fibromyalgia is or how it affects a family. But from day one, you learned that things were not all right with me and you went on to get on with it. You learned that things would be different.
You have never asked about this new reality with which I am dealing, you have never discussed it. You girls learned that I couldn’t do anything I used to do once. You have learned I’m pushing more than I should be a few days ago. And the most important thing you learned was that you hadn’t got the mom any longer.
For 17 and 13 years old, this is a big thing that you can understand, but neither of you asked what was happening, why it was happening or how it would affect you. You girls had to adapt just like I had to to a new normal now and never missed a beat.
You know when I need extra help, when I need to make orders for myself, or if I only need time alone. You have learned to read my face and know when stuff isn’t right and you appear to know stuff that could help me. Since I had this condition, you also learned that my moods were sometimes unpredictable, glad for one minute, mad the next, and shortly thereafter in tears.
You must learn how hard you can’t predict any mood. However, you ‘re still rolling with that and not questioning it. I used to attend any school or extracurricular activity but now, if it’s a very bad day, you know I can be painful and make it more uncomfortable the next day and you ‘re more than a comprehension. You girls seem to know always when mothers need a little extra love and extra attention.
You know when it is needed, the hugs and kisses, the “favorits,” the malls, the tasks and everything I need to do every day. You have never given up hope for me or for me since this new reality has been our life. This is something with which no child of your age should deal, but with grace and power. You never underestimated who I am now, or made me feel like a mother’s less.
The little gestures such as hugs and kisses, flowers, aid me around the house or send me to the couch if you know that I have done so much, mean more than you know about them. In so many respects, I’m a pretty lucky mom. But above all, I am the proud mother of two wonderful girls that I love with the moon and behind. I’ve loved you more than ever, my “punkin,” and my “boo!”
As a mother’s daughter is hard with fibromyalgia, this relationship can definitely put pressure on the daughter’s mother because it feels a relation rather than a relationship between you and your mom.
There’s good days, and bad days, I’ve learned. Days when you need more aid, more help, more positive words, more love, etc. and days when you need space for yourself, because you feel a little bit crappy, emotional, and a little frustrated. I don’t know anyone else, but with a pretty stunning mother I’ve been blessed!
One who is a model of great importance, one who shows great strength and perseverance. But I would like her to know that although the fibromyalgia is horrible, and can sometimes make life feel unbearable, Mom, I hope you know, I love you and back and always will, I want her and I want her to know. I know that I love you.
As a mum’s daughter with fibromyalgia I realized and accepted that it will take days when Mom wants to go to the city to get groceries because driving to the city, walking around the shop and carrying big bags can make her tired and hurt.
She will need an extra hug there will be days. There will be things she misses, such as choir concerts or sporting events, because getting up and ready will hurt her much more tomorrow if she sits for some 2 hours in some uncomfortable auditorium chair.
I know she’s always thinking of me when I do them and she’s always excited to hear about them when I go home. But I’ve got to know that it’s all right that they miss a few of the things. It can be hard to be a mother’s daughter with fibromyalgia as you feel hilariously some days, which is one of the worst! It is difficult to watch your mother suffer and fight, and to know that she wants to do more than she can physically do is so difficult to witness.
Mom, I hope you know for the good days I’ve been here, and also the bad. As a solid basis for you, I always am here. A shoulder to cry on in the not so nice days, a man to rant on extra frustrating days, to laugh with him uncontrollably on extra good days, and I’m here to try and smile on your face every day. Because although I’m a fibromyalgic mom’s daughter, I’m also the damn good mom’s daughter! “I ‘m loving you back and forth to the moon! “Love, the haley of your” punkin.
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