Pain Story of Lynne Carlos

Pain Story of Lynne Carlos

Pain:

Will your life be changed.
You ‘re going to be stronger than you ever thought.
With compassion your heart will grow.
You ‘re going to find real friends to support you.
You’ll concentrate on the actual purpose of life.
Your new world offers endless chances.
In balance and patience you will find comfort.
Your strength will be stepped up.
And the strength of faith will nourish you.

April 2014

When I was about seven years old, my first memories of pain were. I recall waking up in the morning and having trouble getting out of bed, wondering always why every section of my body feels so stiff as a rock. The house was always cold and I would scratch the hall up to the floor heater, where I would turn my back to the iron grill on the floor and feel warm heat to make my muscles feel alive again.

Yeah, the pain was dreadful, but it was worse that I shouldn’t speak! I was said that I didn’t want to go to school or I wanted to see or that I was a “H-y-p-o-c-o-n-d-r-i-a-c,” that actually, the pain was simply the fact. A hypocrisy!? I didn’t even realize what that word meant, but I knew I didn’t want to be anything!

So I never talked about my pain very carefully. I knew I loved school and my teacher and friends paid a lot of attention to me. Barbie, Mike, Judys, Peter, Jim … oh, Kyle and Devra. Have you been here. We would skip to school, jump over the cracks and speak for a mile a minute (just to make sure our mom’s back isn’t ruptured).

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When I went with my friends and did stuff like hop scotching or 4 square, my pain was not as bad. At the time , I didn’t know, but I still worked to reduce my sorrows today many of the same thing — being around my friends, outside exercising, but now I don’t have to feel as embarrassed as I was back in primary education.

Why I shouldn’t talk about my pain I was never quite sure. I believe it was a sign of weakness that it was something to do with pain. But I wasn’t weak, that didn’t make sense! I hurt and I never bothered to complain to someone every day! Okay, sometimes I took my picture and I wouldn’t smile, but when you think somebody just dropped you off a building of a ten-story building, it’s hard to stand still and smile. NEVER! I’ve not been weak and I’ve not been (H-y-p-o-c-h-o-n-d-r-i-a-c) All the time I hurt.

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